who said pregnant women aren't pretty?

my Pregnancy Vlog ...

my gift to you! Merry christmas :) introduction of Bentley/Hunter!!

Just like you i was suprised too, Zadasia pregnant?? noo can't be... Of course my future, my education, and my life changing flashed before my eyes.. But i snapped back to reality just as quick as i fell for what people WANT me to become... I am still a FULL TIME student, i am employed working 4-5 times a week and will reach e v e r y goal i have set out for myself.

I chose LIFE over anyone's temporary disappointment unlike most people i will strive to do any and everything necassary for my son Me and my childs FATHER are still together and happy . My initial reaction was tears, only because i wasn't sure yet how to feel, shorty after realizing i was blessed with life those tears turned into smiles. Still with my mind unmade, i set a doctors appointment where i saw my angel for the first time at 8weeks i never knew i could love someone who couldn't yet see,hear,breathe,or speak as much as i do my son. I cried out of disbelief to hear his little heartbeat was unreal and at just 8weeks my little prince swam and squirmed as if he was a full-term baby.

My mindset changed drastically after realizing i had life inside of me, Parties? no longer concerned, the actual smell of alcohol would make me gag. All i could think about was " What will be my son's next development"... The first stage of my pregnancy was horrible, Being a person who never really got "sick" it was a horrible feeling to throw up after EVERY meal, every snack, every drink, sensitive to any smell... All i could think of was when it was going to be over, after a longgggg 14weeks i began to see slight relief i went down to throwing up once a day :D.


Being at this stage in my life, changed me ALOT for the better all i constantly think about are ways to better not only my son but myself. Around 11/12 weeks i saw my little boy's arms being active sucking his thumb and making little flutter movements. My emotionals are always at a alltime high, From my Boyfriend,bestfriends, and Mother i dont know who gets it worse.. Some things i found myself crying abt throughout this pregnancy is The thought of disappointed, Betrayl by friends, Not being able to give my son the world, WEIGHT GAIN, along side with any and everything my boyfriend did.BUT im all better now :D


At 19 weeks and 6days i found out my little angel was a boy, Again i cried, his daddy, godmommy, and friends we're too excited. Being they were the one's telling me the entire time he was a boy. And to their request he was with a big wanker ( as the doctor said ) [pounds baby's hand, "THATS MY BOYYYY'] Except for Uncle Darrin , he wanted you to be my babygirl "ZOE" He'd be upset to know we've been referring to him as "Zoe" since we found out, his reaction when i told him was " You and Dane better have another damn baby, i thought it was a damn girl wtf" lmao... now he loves you and talks about you all the time :) " i can't wait for bentley to get her, he's gunna call me unc and im calling him neph i can't wait "...I've had only a FEW set ofFRIENDS that i consider my family who have been the best supporters i could ever ask for and i LOVE them to death for that reason and many more.. Ive found out who my true friends are and i couldnt be more pleased with the few i have...i am STILL the same strong minded, goal oriented, straight foward, dream lurking ZADASIA!!! and will make it my priority to reach every goal set for myself... a life is a blessing never a setback atleast in my eyes... lets win baby ; I probably shouldn't even be crying while typing and reading over this a milllllion times, but ::shrugs:: i guess this is a emotional stage in my life... I wouldnt do it over or make any corrections if i had a giant red sharpy... im grateful for all the blessing placed in my life and i guess Gods plan was to bring my babyboy into mylife when he did, i wont question it... Just know if he brings it to you , he'll bring you through it..im not here to ask for sympathy or ask for any type of judgement frankly i really dont care ( sorry if that was a little blunt) I LOVE my son.. i dont know why he happened but im glad he happened to me.If your reading this, you probably found out about my pregnancy on Christmas day, i've been planning our annoucement of pregnancy since my 14th week,im now 22 weeks pregnant, and my little boy will be here April,28th,2011 Soo HERE YOU ARE... :)




Bentley Romello Miller / Hunter Romello Miller ♥

Word's probably aren't enough to express my feelings for you , your still a little too small to understand how much you mean to me. Since Mommy found out about you i've promised myself to make it my responsibilty to give you the world by any means.. The first time hearing your little heart beat mine stopped, the first time i saw your little arms and legs wiggle mine got weak, the first time i saw your mouth move mine got numb, When i found out you we're a boy i couldnt believe Zadasia could say I'll be soon having a Son... You've changed Mommy's life for the better and although you we'rent planned you've become the best Gift god could have gave to me. You have ALOT of supporters here for you already and your not even here yet, ALOT of people a love you and have stuck by my side throughout this pregnancy when i felt i had no'one .. .. Im sure when we get to see your little face in person we'll fall inlove more..I know this will be tough but Mommy is prepared for the good and the ugly. You can come to be about any&everything, mommy and daddy are your number one supporters,i hope you know i've never and will never look at you as a mistake, your amazing in my eyes.you have a couple of angels looking down on you as well babyboy... If i have to DO IT ALL just to GIVE to you then that'll be just what i'll do. I hope the world can see how wonderful you are.. I can't wait to meet you Handsome... Mommy & Daddy love you ♥



"You came from heaven shining, breath of god still fresh on you, the beating heart inside me crumbled at this one so new.. No matter where how far you wander for a thousand years or longer, i will always be there for you ...right there with you.. Your're so amazing you shine like the stars, Your're so amazing the beauty you are, You came blazing right into my heart you're so amazing you are...you are.."

lost close friends...??

LOST 2 OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS BEFORE THE NEW YEAR, BUT !!!!







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